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  • You're not too old, and it's never too late

Monday, February 10, 2014

We Moms and Our Good Intentions...

I'm glad I've shared my EDNOS with my girls. At first, I worried it wasn't the "right" thing to do. After all, they're 15 and 12--tender ages when it comes to food/eating/body image issues--and I don't want to screw them up anymore than I already am.

My older, former self would have definitely hidden from my girls the fact that I see an Eating Disorders therapist AND and Eating Disorders nutritionist, but secrecy was part of my problem.

Well, no more!

Not only have my daughters been very supportive in my recovery, but they're learning not to diet and how to just eat what they want when they want, and exercise by engaging in physical activities they really like. We also share "did you hear that?" or "did you see that?" glances when we're in public and listening to and witnessing diet mentality in action. These moments are very satisfying to me.

That, and they bring home stories like the one my oldest shared with me today. We were on our way to her weekly tennis lesson, and she told me that one of her friends, the friend's mother and younger sister are all doing the "Dr. Oz Diet." I'm not going to link to it here because I no longer support these crazy diets, but anyone reading this can go check it out on their own. I plan to discuss it with my nutritionist this week, but I'm pretty sure she'll say it's severely restrictive and won't approve.

My daughter's friend is of healthy weight, she's also 15 and she's on the swim team at school, which means she gets plenty of exercise on a daily basis. This is not a person who should be restricting her diet, especially the protein portion of her diet.

I don't know the mother or the younger sister, but I can tell you they shouldn't be restricting like this, either. Especially the YOUNGER sister. :o/

In addition to the severe diet--on which they hope to drop 10 pounds in two weeks--Eldest Daughter tells me that the mom has taped a number of pictures on their refrigerator. As you can imagine, the pictures are from fashion and fitness magazines--publications that hawk the airbrushed, ultra-thin version of "perfection" most of us will NEVER attain.

I feel sad for these girls/women, but I don't judge them. God knows I have been where they are now so many times before. I'm glad I am where I am now.

I also appreciate the up side of this tale. My daughter said she shared her opinion (even though I'm not sure it was requested...) and told her friend that she eats what she wants, when she wants, and that she makes sure to get the right amount of exercise in. She also said, "My mom would never put those pictures up. She doesn't allow those magazines in our house."

To which her friend apparently responded, "Really?"

"I get in trouble for even looking at them in the checkout line at the grocery store!" my daughter told her friend. She's right about that...I don't allow those magazines in my home because I don't want to look at those fake pictures, nor do I don't want my girls looking at them. And by the way, she doesn't get in trouble for looking at the magazines in the checkout line...she might, however, get this kind of look:

Truthfully, these horrible  magazines provide an opportunity for discussion--about how we feel and what we think of the messages they bombard us with every day. And with the number of such publications, we should have a lot to talk about all the time!

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